I have always been an avid fan and believer of the concept of love languages. I tend to buy the book by Gary Chapman for newlyweds. I find it extremely vital for couples to understand how to communicate with one another successfully…which means speaking the correct love language(s).
Learning your partner’s love language is an easy-albeit IMPORTANT-discovery. It’s fascinating. I’m bewildered that anyone wouldn’t want to express love to their partner in an enriching way so they actually FEEL it.
We all want to feel loved. We want our partner’s approval. For women, we want our man to find us sexy and appealing. If we are expressing love to our partner using the wrong love language…we are building a wall built on miscommunication which could lead to mistrust and resentment.
What are the 5 Love Languages?
1. Words of Affirmation
“If this is your love language, you feel most cared for when your partner is open and expressive in telling you how wonderful they think you are, how much they appreciate you, etc.”
2. Acts of Service
“If your partner offering to watch the kids so you can go to the gym (or relieving you of some other task) gets your heart going, then this is your love language.”
“This love language is just as it sounds. A warm hug, a kiss, touch, and sexual intimacy make you feel most loved when this is your love language.”
4. Quality Time
“This love language is about being together, fully present and engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial.”
“Your partner taking the time to give you a gift can make you feel appreciated.”
How to figure out your primary language:
- Your upbringing can speak into your love language. How did you parents show you love growing up? What made you feel the most loved as a child? There is a high probability that is your primary love language.
- When you really want to show someone you care about them, what first comes to your mind to show it? Your most basic instincts can show your primary love language as well.
- Painful relational experiences can show your primary love language. If someone close to you hurt you in a deep way or neglected to show love the way you wanted, perhaps the deep hurt/dissatisfaction came because the way you most feel loved was not met. This means that what they failed to do is what you value the most because it is your primary love language.
Are you speaking your partner’s love language?
What’s Your Love Language?
Here’s a quiz to find out: DISCOVER YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE