All Kinds of Suck

I have lost my car keys. It’s Day 3. I have looked EVERYWHERE and yet…NADA. My wallet is also in my vehicle, along with some other work stuff. I only have one set and have been dealing with the dealership about the second set of keys for months. (They never gave me a second set when I purchased the car) It’s a long story, but I can’t even use the remote start I received for a Christmas present UNTIL I get a second key that the dealership (who was taken over by another dealership) gives me the second key. They want me to pay for it and OMG…I’m having a panic attack just writing all of this.

And if that wasn’t all…I have tenants who are LATE on rent AGAIN and despite all my efforts in communicating and trying to work with them, they are the poster couple of being low-life manipulating losers. I just called their phone from my work phone in another attempt to reach out to them and someone FINALLY answered. When I asked for the husband, she was like, “He’s not here.” So I asked if this was the wife and she paused before saying, “No.” THEN she started saying she didn’t know where the husband was (saying his name) and that she found the phone at the store. “I don’t even know who’s phone this is.”

Being that I’ve had a lingering headache for a couple of days, beyond stressed, a wedding I’m in and a bachelorette party I’m co-hosting…NOT to mention  I have a dollar to my name until payday, I immediately took a heavy breath and brought out my inner thug attitude.

“Look, I don’t know who this is and what is going on, but this is <NAME AND NAME>’s landlord and I need either one of them to call me back. Do you understand?”

The ‘stranger’ or whoever agreed, but I doubt I’ll be receiving a phone call anytime soon.

I don’t know what is going on in the universe…in MY universe, but the hundreds of things that I’m dealing with are overwhelming. I can’t even begin to start in on everything and whilst I know I’m pretty fortunate in a lot of aspects, right now the negative is outweighing the positive.

It’s hard to fake all is well when you feel as if your soul is tearing from the burns of unfortunate and needless occurrences. It’s enough to make you want to throw yourself down like a toddler and cry.

It’s enough to almost think this is it for you. That maybe things are never going to get better.

That maybe…this is just what you deserve.

Four years of crazy is enough to turn you crazy and I wish I had just one aspect in my life that was relatively easy. Doesn’t have to be perfect, but I need something…ANYTHING…to be golden…or even a rusted bronze.

Right now, life pretty much sucks and I’m tired of pretending that it isn’t.  However, I’ll plastered that smile on my face and bury myself in work and pray.

Things must get better.

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