I always wondered what happened in life for a woman to let herself go. As someone who has been pretty vain her entire life, even to the point as a teenager, I would apply makeup and fix my hair JUST TO GO TO THE MAILBOX, so the idea that I would ever let myself go seemed impossible.
In my twenties, I chopped my hair off. As in I BARELY HAD HAIR. I’m talking the Halle Berry haircut of the 2000’s. And whilst I didn’t wear makeup around the house, our weekly trips to the grocery store did include the basics: mascara and lipstick.
I went through many phases in my thirties. I was doing some modeling and pageants, so I did the makeup and hair perfecto thing. And then…I started to wear less makeup and worked out more. By the age of 36, I probably was in the best shape of my life.
Then 2016 happened. A few days ago, I woke up, got out of bed and took a long hard look at myself in the mirror.
The person I used to know is all but gone.
I have gained twenty pounds, my hair has seen better days and I haven’t worn my contacts in months. Makeup? Hmm, sometimes, but rarely. And unlike in my twenties, I do need a little more than just mascara and lipstick.
It dawned on me that I have let myself go.
This is entirely my fault. Granted, I had some pretty tough blows hit me in the past few years. Illnesses, deaths, divorce…etc. LIFE is like that. You got your highs and you’re gonna have your lows.
Life just decided to give me all the lows all at once.
And slowly, without warning, I lost a huge part of me. I lost my confidence. I lost the fun part of me that used to laugh a lot more and didn’t allow things to get to her so much. I was a pretty cool chick and somehow…I lost my way.
I was talking to a friend last week who is going through the same funk as I am. Our lives are eerily similar, we have the same relationship issues, same weight issues and the same problems with our hair. Except, she’s actually doing something about it. Instead of watching episode after episode of Rich Women Doing Stuff, she is doing yoga and working out. She no longer devalues or questions herself like I seem to do DAILY.
“You should really come do yoga with me.”
::Me stretching as far as I can to reach the Apple TV remote without actually getting up from the couch.::
“I’m actually doing yoga right now, Karen. You don’t live my life.”
It is so easy to watch TV and read books without engaging in any physical activity. It’s been pretty easy to check out of life, because dealing with the lows of life seemed unbearable. The fun chick I used to be has turned into a cranky crab wearing a purple bathrobe and of course, her boyfriend’s socks. My next step is yelling at kids to get off my lawn not caring if said kids are actually mine.
My friend has encouraged me to write about this journey. You see, I believe one can change the downward spiral of ‘letting yourself go’ at any time. The first step is choosing to change. I can choose to look good, feel good and STILL keep the attitude and bathrobe.
“How do you see yourself in June of this year?” my friend asks, “Don’t think, just say the first word that comes to your mine.”
Without missing a beat, I blurt: “Glamorous.”
So here’s to it my beautiful readers…Day 1 of Operation Glamour.
(Stay Tuned as I detail my plans to this high level and secure Operation.
Be prepared to either be bedazzled or bored. Choice is yours.)
Want to join Operation Glamour? Click Here.