No one wants to hang around rude and obnoxious people. But this is the real world and the real world has an abundance of mean people.
I’ve been a complete ass to people before and I’m not always kind. I don’t like that part of myself and I always regret when unkind words come out of my mouth. It may not be right away, but I will apologize and sometimes (perhaps rightfully so) the apology isn’t always received. However, being that I was sincerely apologetic, I have learned to forgive myself even when I’m not forgiven by the one I’ve wronged.
But what happens if you’ve been hurt by someone’s actions and/or words and there is never an apology?
A person could spend an eternity providing evidence and witnesses to a person who is in the wrong and why an apology should be given. (Women, Amiright?) You could calmly go into detail and bring in psychologists verifying the notion that an apology is deserved. And you’d be right. You do deserve an apology and the respect that goes with it.
Truth is, some people are just assholes. It doesn’t matter to them they’ve crossed a line and are disrespectful. They don’t care. For them to feel good about themselves…they have to trample on others to feel bigger and better about being an asshole.
You can’t force anyone to respect you and you can’t force anyone to admit they are in the wrong and should apologize. It’s all shades of shitty, but then again, assholes are pretty shitty to begin with. To expect anything more from them is just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Sometimes people are just assholes and there isn’t anything you’ll ever be able to do about it.
Up until recently, (LIKE REALLY RECENTLY) I honestly thought I could change someone by being nicer to them, despite of their asshole persona. You know, that whole “kill them with kindness” bullshit.
This is what I’ve learned: Assholes can’t grasp kindness. And do you want to know why?
Because they are an asshole.
When someone is clouding your thoughts and interrupting your happiness because of their asshole behavior, is it worth holding on to the hurt and anger they’ve caused you?
I’ve come to the realization that assholes do not care what wrongs they’ve done. They lack feelings of remorse. They have justified their actions to the point they feel they’ve done nothing wrong.
Or perhaps they do know and just don’t care. (Assholes.)
We all want closure and resolution. We also want validation. Closure is a gift and it isn’t something that is promised to any of us. Holding on to something tightly to your chest because you are expecting an apology later is only hurting YOU. I come from the mindset that IF ONLY I TALK TO THEM and let them know how I feel it would all be better. This rarely works because when the response you are expecting doesn’t come, you’re reliving all the angst and pain all over again.
Closure starts with YOU.
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” ~Robert Brault