Adulting: The Sunday Dinner Edition

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This recipe is what I call, “Ground Turkey with Mashed Potatoes.”

I creatively call it that because it is ground turkey and mashed potatoes.

What you’ll need:

  • Ground Turkey
  • One red bell pepper
  • One yellow bell pepper
  • One onion
  • Meatloaf seasoning. I like to use this one.
  • Low expectations
  • An intoxicated parent who will call you whilst you are preparing said meal to tell you what an awesome kid you were, but as a teenager? Not so much. Also, you and your siblings should cease caring about said parent because said parent is “F*&%ing grown.”
  • A Boyfriend/Husband/Significant Other who repeatedly turns up TV because you’re talking to intoxicated parent on speaker because YOU’RE BUSY COOKING DINNER AND ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS!!!!
  • Eyes. You must have eyes, not just to see to cook with…but are very important to roll constantly during the preparation of meal. I firmly believe the meal will be an absolute failure if you’re not rolling your eyes.

Step 1: You will need to throw frozen turkey into a pan and because you’re impatient, you’ll want to turn the heat up on HIGH until all the upstairs windows are foggy and someone asks if you realize there is something burning.

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Step 2: Cut an onion.

Step 3: Cut potatoes

Step 4:  Cut peppers, but you don’t really cut the peppers because you just want to get this dinner over with so you pinch the peppers with your fingers because who really cares? It’s just peppers.

Step 5:  Boil potatoes. As you are boiling potatoes, you will be sautéing the onion and bell peppers in olive oil. Don’t have olive oil? Use your tears because you’re most likely crying at this point anyway.

Step 6: Realize you burned some of the ground turkey, but it’s okay because that’s the portion you’ll give The Boyfriend.

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Step 7, 8. 9: Mash potatoes. Add packet of meatloaf seasoning to the ground turkey, also adding the saute onions and bell peppers in as well. Serve potatoes and ground turkey together. You do this because remember? You’ve burnt parts of the ground turkey and you do not want The Boyfriend to notice. AND because you’re secretly a devious person with pent-up resentment. It’s like he doesn’t even know you have big boobs and are above this cooking stuff.