Clarity is Power or Something Like That

zen

When do you realize the truth that there are changes to be made and you cease believing your own crap?

This is what is going through my mind as I listen to Deepak Chopra whilst I finished up a piece I’m working on about women and sobriety. The woman I had the pleasure of speaking with is one of those genuine souls who radiates kindness…and so as I sat there feeling all zen and I vowed I would also speak kindly and be graceful in everything I do.

It took me TEN times to wake up the teenage boys and yet…I didn’t yell. Then after seeing the dishes weren’t done even though my fifteen year old son was told 298974 times, had the X-box disconnected and was threatened with bodily harm…they still remained in the sink. Yet, I bit my tongue. Since yesterday, I reminded both boys (17 and 15) that tomorrow (today) is Trash Day and to gather up all their soda cans and fast food debris stashed in their room and take it outside. Also…take the garbage can to the curb.

I trusted they did this. Because I BELIEVED it to be true, so therefore it would be true.

Spoiler Alert: It wasn’t true.

Again, I didn’t freak when I found the trash wasn’t taken out and the garbage can was not pulled to the curb. The dishes were still overwhelmingly flowing over the sink and the dogs were whining because even though it was written on the chore chart to take the dogs out to pee and poop (THEY LIKE IT WHEN YOU ALLOW THEM TO DO THIS!) my  thirteen year old daughter had not taken them out because… hair takes forever to curl and style and then throw up into a bun. (An hour to be precise)

However, because I was thinking of my friend who is all things love and kindness and I could still hear the words of Deepak Chopra who told me (via Itunes) to step into the unknown at every moment and enter in the field of infinite possibilities…I remained cool. I kept calm. I told myself I  would discuss responsibilities and the habit of following through with the kids after school.

With a bloated level of zen-type self-importance and an overwhelming congratulatory thoughts of being calm, I tripped in our driveway taking the garbage can to the curb. The dogs had followed me outside and as I laid on the ground having had the breath knocked out of me, the youngest dog peed on my leg. Before I could react, the oldest dog began to bark at the garbage truck who just so happened to stop in front of the house at that EXACT TIME I laid sprawled in the driveway with a dog peeing on my leg.

And that is when I let out every expletive I’ve ever heard in my life…with all the zen I could muster.