The Boyfriend has been cheating on me with this stinky skank named “Hockey” and a slut he calls “X-box”
The Boyfriend: Leaving now for hockey. Won’t be home until way after midnight
Me: Well, wake me up because it’s been a long time since we’ve…’you know’.
The Boyfriend: BAAAABE. I’ll be tired. And I’m going to have to go straight to sleep because I’m going out on the snow machine all day tomorrow…
Me: I’m talking about waking up to do the “YOU KNOW” and you can’t because you’ll be too tired?
The Boyfriend: And I will have been drinking beer…
Me: Did we get married and no one told me? This is the conversation a couple has when they’ve been married for over a decade. And it is usually vice versa.
The Boyfriend: ….. ….. …..
Me: It’s been A MONTH!
The Boyfriend: It has not. You’re exaggerating. It’s been like a week and a half.
Me: I just want to know when you stopped being that hot guy who couldn’t keep his hands off of me to a tired middle-aged stay-at-home Mom
The Boyfriend: Fiction can be oh so fun.
Me: So can doing the “YOU KNOW.”