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Man in Mess and Shocked Woman

The Boyfriend has been cheating on me with this stinky skank named “Hockey” and a slut he calls “X-box”

The Boyfriend: Leaving now for hockey. Won’t be home until way after midnight

Me: Well, wake me up because it’s been a long time since we’ve…’you know’.

The Boyfriend: BAAAABE. I’ll be tired. And I’m going to have to go straight to sleep because I’m going out on the snow machine all day tomorrow…

Me: I’m talking about waking up to do the “YOU KNOW” and you can’t because you’ll be too tired?

The Boyfriend: And I will have been drinking beer…

Me: Did we get married and no one told me? This is the conversation a couple has when they’ve been married for over a decade. And it is usually vice versa.

The Boyfriend: …..   …..  …..

Me: It’s been A MONTH!

The Boyfriend: It has not. You’re exaggerating. It’s been like a week and a half.

Me: I just want to know when you stopped being that hot guy who couldn’t keep his hands off of me to a tired middle-aged stay-at-home Mom

The Boyfriend: Fiction can be oh so fun.

Me: So can doing the “YOU KNOW.”


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